Tuesday, April 1, 2014

A WINE WRITER'S DIARY a B-Team report for April 1

SUNDAY

Woke up this morning with a shattering headache, one I had not experienced
since
my college days…What was it? Why was it? Seemed like a hangover to me,
although
I seldom overindulge these days with alcohol. And then it hit me…A group of
us
were watching the DVD of "Sideways" and we all went for a bunch of garbage
bowls. It was a massive chugalug of the spittoons after a raucous evening of
taste and spit. I seem to recall that I took no notes of the aromas and
textures
of the spittoon, but a card in my pocket said that I had won both the speed
and
the quantity contest. Thank god we didn't sample any merlots last time or
I'd be
SOL!!!

The afternoon was spent prioritizing my wine and food activities for the
week.
As a B-team wine writer, I don't get to do all the things that the A-team
does
(these are the writers for the dailies and the consumer magazines).
Let me see: this week there are a couple of trade shows (including one from
a B-team wine region, in desperate need of any kind of exposure), a lunch
with a
producer; a lunch with a trade commission wine guy; a dinner theatre which
needs
some publicity (we usually call it "ptomaine theatre"), plus the
consultations/advisements on wine lists, wine clubs, etc. etc. Alas, my
radio
spot was cancelled last week when somebody asked which wine went with pussy,
and
– without missing a beat -- I gave him a choice of sparkling apricot or
sweet
riesling. The station was not amused; the next wine writer will get a five
second delay…It is a jungle out there.



MONDAY –

Up at 5 AM to begin writing on the inside of my eyelids...I've got a few
story
ideas that are best processed in bed. By 7 AM I have it all laid out, and I
can
begin the day. I have a rowing machine, which I use when the inclement
weather
looks too forbidding for my 10K run. Usually when I row I watch a DVD of a
silent or a foreign film: no noise, no interruptions, and plenty of reading.
Sometimes, for an English language film, I'll turn on the subtitles, still
keeping the sound off. This works wonders for many BritComs where I can't
quite
catch the accent in time to process it – before the next joke occurs. Today
I
feast on the food scene in "Tom Jones"...Makes me  hungry just writing about
it.
I get a phone call from the ICE (Italy) reminding me of today's technical
wine
seminar, and would I please be on time? Of course, I lie…These things never
start on time…

I'm off this morning to the Italian wine trade show, which usually happens
at Roy Thomson Hall. After we're searched at the door, we go to pick up the catalogue.
The
show is supposed to be in Montreal, Vancouver and Toronto. Consequently,
there
are many wines NOT available for tasting in Toronto: I'd have to go to
Montreal
or Vancouver for those…But they are all still listed in the catalogue for
the
sake of economy. The Italians go out of their way to list all the companies,
the
agents, addresses galore, maps, vintage notes, technical notes, names and
vintages of all the wines, grape varieties employed and their percentages.
Wines
are starred and footnoted to indicate whether they are in Vancouver,
Montreal or
Toronto. Clay-based paper is used, and unfortunately, with all this data,
each
catalogue weighs 6 kilos.

I spend some time crossing off those wines not in Toronto (only to find out
later that some of them actually are here!). The technical tasting involves
a
range of presentations from producers in both Italian and English, sometimes
both; it is called for 10:30AM but actually starts at 11. I get there at
10:45
for a good seat, talk to B-team colleagues, start marking up my catalogue.

Lunch is a buffet, the usual standup buffet. I always wear comfortable shoes
(but see my notes for Friday). The banquet table fits my seafood diet: I see
food, I eat it. I walk around trying to taste some 420 wines, realizing that
I
cannot do it. The ones I do taste don't seem to be currently available, the
agent doesn't know when they will be available, nor does he know their
prices or
terms. Occasionally there will be a Principal who does not speak English, or
a
wine director who only knows the FOB price in Euros. Typical of most trade
shows, no matter how much the catalogue weighs or how it is laid out…I move
on
through the jungle.


TUESDAY –


This morning I get down to writing. Then there is a "lunch" meeting with a
producer at the LCBO's Scrivener Square Private Tasting Room. The wine press
here is a mixture of A- and B-team players. Occasionally, a Product
Consultant
or staffer from the LCBO will there with us. Today we have a winemaker
speaking
about his ten wines. Three of the wines are in the General List, another two
are
in the Vintages system, one is here on consignment, another is being
proposed
for the General List (this one seems to have the most publicity material in
front of it), one more is coming to Vintages, one is a definite Private
Order
(but could we please say something about it, to encourage sales?), and the
last
one is a new vintage (or it could be a barrel sample). This is the typical
lineup. The producer rep is accompanied by four agent reps, sometimes five.
And
sometimes the reps outnumber the writers. I've also been to several tastings
and dinners where I was the only writer who turned up! I hate it when "they"
outnumber me…Usually the European (or some other non-US country) producer
rep is
either an Export Director or the Winemaker. Some of the larger non-US
producers
have Export Directors who live in California or New York City, and they come
up
to Toronto. It is extremely rare for a producer to come with two or more
wine
people, since most matters can be handled by the local agent. My strategy
has
always been to directly engage the visitor by asking relevant but off-topic
questions. The Export Director is always talking about marketing facts and
figures; I always ask about percentages of grape varieties, winemaking
techniques, the latest vintage conditions. Sometimes they know this stuff.
The
Winemaker is always talking about viniculture and viticulture, the
expression of
the grapes/wine through his vision, and the like; I always ask about export
figures, where Ontario stands in the world markets, pricing policy, bottle
shapes. Keeps 'em all on their toes, especially the local agent…

The "lunch" is cheese, bread, salami, grapes. It is sustaining. I remember being at
one
wine tasting at 6 PM in the Four Seasons. The agent provided nothing: no
food,
no bread, not even water. I had to take a wine glass to the hotel john to
get
tap water…

This afternoon I visit a few restaurants to set up wine lists and talk about
the
Bring Your Own Wine program. Ptomaine theatre is also on the list. Most
restaurateurs know little about wine's selling potential: they rely on
consultants and sommeliers. I swing on a few vines through the jungle.



WEDNESDAY –


I'm meeting with a trade commission person responsible for wine in Ontario
from
his country: he is going to outline a trip for me. But I don't want to go
(too
far, too long). He tries to convince me of the deep background, the
familiarization tour (famtour). I agree, but it is not my style. Instead, I
try
to persuade him to let me sample some of his country's wines. Could he not
send
me some samples of wine for my assessment with my own paid-for meals? He pulls
out
a spreadsheet which he says clearly shows that it is actually CHEAPER (for
the
trade commission as sponsor) to send me via air (top filling the seats), put me up in
a
hotel (top fill), ferry me about in a bus (cost spread over participants),
with
the winetastings and meals paid by the wineries involved. Sending me wine
can be
very expensive, with cartage and taxes. It looks convincing, but it is still
unbelievable.

And speaking of sending me wine, the usual dribble of General List wine
bottles
arrive on my doorstep, and I store it for a neighbourhood tasting and party
(see
Saturday) at the usual jungle location.


THURSDAY –


There is a really terrific wine trade show this afternoon, overflowing with
delicious wines and comestibles that meet my seafood diet. One problem: the
catalogue is dreadful. There are no page numbers, there is no order to the
producers, there is no listing of table numbers, there are no agents listed,
half of the wines are not here, and of the wines that are here some are not
in
the catalogue. The direct opposite of the ICE catalogues. One agent tells me
that he is four pages from the centre, to the left side. Okay, I can do
that…After awhile, I throw away the catalogue and just use a blank book for
tasting notes. Trade shows are not the best places to taste wines
professionally: they are actually the worse. They are crowded, there are
food
smells, the producers are too busy talking to one person to pour wine to a
second person, nobody seems to know much about prices or availability, there
is
a definite pecking order both for the A- and B-team wine writers and for
certain
wineries, there are a lot of "unknowledgeable people" floating about, many
gatecrashers, much body odour and many perfume scents, people hang around
tables
after they get a sample when they should be moving away, irrelevant chatter
at
the tasting tables, too much of a "party" feel, spittoons are always in
short
supply and not cleared often enough, water is missing, etc. A jungle, and
not my
favourite activity. Wines can range from 50 samples up through 600, with
about
three hours to sample all of them. Of course, I don't/can't try them all. So
I
sift through the program as far ahead as possible. At one show, the
interesting
catalogue went awry. The wines on the table were in the same order as listed
in
the catalogue. This was okay, if you tasted everything and shuffled along at
the
same speed with the guy ahead and the guy behind. It also helped if nobody
talked to the producer, thus making the line move along. But nobody wanted
to
try everything, and spittoons were far and few between. The catalogue soon
became useless.

I've now rented myself out as a wine trade show consultant for the jungle
life;
it has been added to my resume.


FRIDAY –

Fridays are one of my favourite days: we get to go to the LCBO tasting lab
and
sample many wines and spirits, usually about 120 at a time. For two Fridays a month,
we
do the Vintages release. A third Friday is devoted to General List and (at
one
time until the LCBO stopped offering Classics previews) to Classics
Catalogue:
usually about 50 wines, beers, spirits, coolers in total. Plus the Christmas
Gift Selection. The fourth Friday is also at the LCBO, but at Scrivener
Square,
for the monthly Wine Writers Circle of Canada business meeting, which is
followed by a tasting of submitted wines of all stripes and colours.
Today, though, we needed to suit up for our annual fitting…

Each year at this time the LCBO supplies us with running shoes, in order to
taste all of the wines put out that week. We'll be measured for foot length
and
width, and then our new shoes will be given to us next week. It is really
amazing how quickly these shoes wear out (they're made in
China, just like all the other shoes are). We really need to be light on our
toes and swift of eyeballs, for the LCBO catalogue is full of errors. It
used to
be that we had a proof copy of the Vintages magazine; now, we get a
photocopy of
the final version. So there is no opportunity for corrections to be made to
the
magazine as sent out to customers. Some errors are egregious, other errors
are
ones of judgment. Tasting panel notes can be a year old. The wrong vintage
is
shipped. Spelling errors and omissions happen.  Unlike trade shows, the lab
is a
quiet place, well-lit, with about a dozen A- and B-team wine writers, a
place to
write notes, and a sort of casualness. Unfortunately, it is incumbent on us
to
actually taste EVERY wine for our readers, to have that one voice. So this
means
that I absorb alcohol through my gums and cheeks. I don't have a car, and I
certainly take the TTC down and back from the lab.  Again, it is a jungle
that
we are constantly being vigilant about.


SATURDAY –

This afternoon I am to host my monthly street party: I gather up all the
General List products and other assorted wines, select a few for a private
tasting, and then put out the rest for my neighbours' opinions. They drift
in
whenever, casual, and sip on a few wines. They may – or may not – make
notes. I
make notes, I gather comments. By the end, I've got enough data, and I've
managed to send off a few half-empty bottles with those who wanted them.

And then it is off to the "Sideways" champion garbage bowl contest. Oh…I
think I
already did that LAST week…Back to the jungle of "Mondovino"; I highly
recommend
the DVD for its extras…


www.deantudor.com

Monday, April 1, 2013

Mayor Schadenford to announce new job in government.

TRAWNA – (GOSH News Services) – The Canadian Foxy Wine News Network North has just learned that Mayor Rob Ford (also known as Schadenford) is poised to make a dramatic announcement by noon today. Taking advantage of the sleepy Easter Monday non-commute, Mayor Ford had hoped that this one would slip by the media. Indeed, according to our best sources, it appears as if Mayor Ford's announcement will only be made by his brother, Councillor Doug Ford, acting in his place, and thus Schadenford will not be available for comments.

 

Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for some time now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.

 

Apparently, Mayor Schadenford has been ousted from office. He had been told to resign by an unnamed team of several thousand well-placed Torontonians. He agreed – so long as he could become the new CEO of the

Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by Win-Win Wynne. That was the price of his removal. Indeed, according to our well-known "anonymous sources", he has already left the building, that is, City Hall.

 

Ford's immediate plans certainly involve creating new wines, beers and spirits featuring the well-known "Gravy Train" © TM label. These will roll out over the next few months, heavily pushed by a bevy of former gravy train recipients. Word has also come down, from our more reliable "confidential sources" that he is about to crack open the Oooopsie union. Work will be further contracted out even more than now, but at first only in Western Ontario – west of Yonge Street.

 

The LCBO buildings at Queens' Quay will be sold for subway barns and parking lots. The Liquor Transfer Tax will be dropped, allowing for a savings to the taxpayer of eight cents on every bottle of alcohol sold in Ontario. According to our confidential sources, Schadenford is also looking forward to his own, private rehab room just off from his new offices.

 

Stay tuned for our special "What the LCBO will be like under Rob Ford" premiering later tonight on this station…

 

 

Sunday, April 1, 2012

April job offer at LCBO

TODAY is April 1, 2012 – also known as April Fool's Day, 2012. To me, it is the most sacred day of the year as it is the one day that I am TOTALLY serious…the rest of the year is a joke, fodder for FauxVoixVinCuisine.

 

Accordingly, I'd like to announce that I'll soon be getting a new job: Toronto Marketing Manager at the LCBO. They were "looking for a smart, creative and likeable superstar to join our marketing team. As a Marketing Manager, you will lead the strategic and creative development of in-store promotions and multi-media advertising designed to promote LCBO products, generate increased store traffic and sales, and deliver an engaging customer experience."

 

They like me for my "Superb verbal and written communication skills to effectively manage staff, direct agencies, designers, photographers and copy writers, and to deliver briefings and presentations." As well as my "Strong creative eye and the ability to produce beautifully designed and compelling communication pieces."

 

But first, I need to "Develop strategic marketing plans based on research and analysis, consumer insights, and trends that deliver measurable sales results and customer engagement."

 

With my contacts Brett Grimsby and Miffed Mole, I can "Plan, create and implement highly engaging promotions that highlight LCBO as a world-class retailer of beverage alcohol products, a destination for entertaining inspiration and a friendly and approachable source for product knowledge." I can also "Plan, develop and execute in-store POP, merchandising, brochures, free-standing inserts, ROP, radio, out-of-home, TV, and digital communications."

 

Once I start this job, I'll honourably resign as Treasurer and Member of the Wine Writers' Circle of Canada (conflict-of-interest by-laws), but, of course, after I transfer the several hundred thousand dollars in the Treasurer's account over to my offshore interests…

 

So:  there will be plenty of gravy available for my fellow WWCC cohorts and colleagues. I'll be calling on you to help supply me with ideas and copy, for which I will pay and for which you will receive credit. I'm looking forward to it all. And you know what? There's probably an app for this job…I'm just sayin'…

 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

HoseMaster of Wine

The Hosemaster is back!!  The funniest wine blog on the Internet (after my own FauxVoixVinCuisine, of course)...Take a look..it is compelling!!
 
http://hosemasterofwine.blogspot.com/

Sunday, November 6, 2011

PIIGS Fundraiser in Ontario


TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, adored by over 4,000 watchers nightly in prime time, today learned that the WGAO, WCO, VQA, and the Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association have come together to hold a fundraiser for the PIIGS countries in their time of need.

 

Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.

 

Essentially, the fundraiser (which has still to be approved by the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province Under the Thumb of The Grate McGinty) is in support of the poorer wineries and winemakers in those EU countries who are suffering within the Eurozone.

 

And the WGAO-WCO-VQA-CWHAFA consortium are also part of the enormous pressure being brought to bear on the LCBO to pay the PIIGS countries in a timely fashion for the wines that were imported to Ontario.

 

Details on the fundraiser are few, but it is believed to incorporate a baked goods sale, a silent auction of rare wines from non-PIIGS countries, a tent with a BBQ and 40 chefs promoting their tapas, and wines poured by Fruit Wineries of Ontario.

 

In view of the upcoming "European Autumn", a riff on the Arab Spring, the fundraiser needs to be done sooner rather than later, but organizers fear that government red tape may slow down the event.

 

Expediency is the order of the day, for any delay brings the PIIGS wineries closer to fiscal disasters, with the resultant drop in prices that can only injure local wine sales in Ontario (A Have-Not Province).

 

More on this impending disaster as it happens…

 

Monday, October 31, 2011

Validation of LCBO key to a successful future?

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – Foxy Wine News Network, in conjunction with GOSH Wine News Services, has just learned that the LCBO, also known as the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty, is treating the recent re-election of Grate McGinty as the validation of its existence.

 

Sources close to the LCBO and to McGinty have been saying that the Corporation (formerly known as "the Board") is now going to start taking a stronger presence and employ press muscle in its search for more money to "give" to the province.

 

One of the first things it will do is lean on those wine critics who diss the Corporation's selection of wines and rate its wine inventories below 88. The Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association is shocked and appalled at this turn of events.

 

Said our source: "Every one of our wines is a winner. If it were not so, I would have told you. We have many rooms in our selling areas where we prepare fine wines for the masses. Why bother to speculate with a silly point system?"

 

The Corporation would continue to acknowledge single bottle faults and the like in wines, but in general, they are prepared to stonewall those critics who give low marks to the wines sold at the LCBO.

 

"They're taking money out of our pockets! Every low-rated review is a loss of sales and a loss of income to the coffers of this Great Province. The critics need to get on board during this time of economic recovery," said the Corporation.

 

The source continued, "We have ways to make them come around. We've also got some other ideas to discourage awarding low numbers. Just watch us."

 

More on this unhappy event and squashing of press privilege as it happens…

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Master of Wine Writing Course syllabus announced


TRAWNA –(GOSH Wine News Services) – The Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association has just announced the course content for its entry level Master of Wine Writing course, MWW I: So You Want to Be  a Wine Writer….

 

MWW I topics will include:

 

– how to get a kit bag with the name of a vinous conference;

- how to write a short paragraph extolling the virtues of a wine;

- how to ask for a golf shirt and/or jacket from a winery;

- how to make things up and/or get the facts wrong;

- how to ask for a Familiarization (FAM) Tour Trip;

- how to get out of a commitment to write up a media function or trip;

- how to come to grips with the basic but boring elements of grammar;

- how to score pens, paperclips, and notepads;

- how to pretend ignorance;

- how to diss and respect the LCBO in the same sentence;

- how to get free wine glasses for life;

- hoe to make yourself indispensable;

- how to trade a badly-sized media Tee-Shirt for one that fits;

- how to ask questions at wine functions;

- how to get a free lunch everyday;

- how to recognize a wine pariah;

- how to move up in the pecking order (does not apply to the A Team);

- how to get a travel bag emblazoned with the name of a wine region;

- how to bring dates to wine functions and wine trade dinners;

- how to use a camera for "pretend" pictures;

- how to beg for wine samples and alternate bottles;

- how to get away with using cologne at wine functions;

 

The introductory course, being entry level, is usually taught by guest lecturers, with selected readings and a final examination.

 
Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

 
 

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Can Wine Hacks and Flacks Association to offer MWW designation

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, enjoyed by up to 5,000 viewers every night, is pleased to offer, in conjunction with the Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association, the beginning of a new online-television education relationship.

 

Beginning in Fall 2011, CWHFA (pronounced Kwee-Fah) will be offering through Foxy Wine News Network some new Master of Wine Writing courses leading to the M.W.W. degree (Master of Wine Writing). Kwee-Fah's Registrar said that these courses would not be similar to, nor lead to a Master of Wine or a Master Sommelier designation.

 

"Indeed", he said, "the MWW will be sitting over the MW and the MS. For one thing, it is one letter longer. For another, the MWW is concerned with writing about the same material that the MW and MS comprises, so the MWW has a more integrative construction of base materials.

 

"The MWW is a communication degree posited above the MW and the MS in interpretation. We will expound and expand on MW/MS materials and we will explain and demystify wine terms and concepts. The MWW will be able to fashion a credible, readable account of wines and wine tasting without resorting to a "sweaty saddles" or "kerosene" or "petrol" type of terminology. We'll lose such phrases as "Heavy-weight almost focused dessert wine. Whispers of cedar, structured blueberry and scant plum. Drink now through 2012."

 

"We'll also be looking into the type of hard-hitting investigative journalism-type stories that GOSH seems to find every day of the week – why aren't the big boy wine writers picking up these stories? Because there are actually TOO many stories..."

 

"We hope to have some of these investigative experiences fashioned in writing and on television before the October 6 election, so we can see what the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty is really up to."

 

The Registrar of Kwee-Fah said: "We'll address this investigative issue when the time comes: it'll make a good textbook case for our students to write-up. Just watch us. We'll be everywhere."

 

Syllabi will go online September 1, while registration opens August 1 at the Foxy Wine News Network's website. More details will be posted later…

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

Thursday, July 28, 2011

LCBO to generate new revenue strategy ahead of Oct 6 el...


TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, enjoyed by almost 5,000 happy wine drinkers every prime time hour, has just learned that the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty, has decided on yet another revenue-generation strategy to justify its existence and to bring in new dollars to the Liberal Government coffers.

 

Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.

 

Fresh intel suggests that the "still-to-be-verified-by-hacked-voicemail-messages" strategy will supposedly involve such things as:

 

-selling ANY wine made in the world in the Ontario marketplace, so long as it passes the stringent lab analysis for health safety. The fee for this could rise to $5,000 per analysis per shipment.

 

-increasing the number of Vintages offerings, both in wines and in frequency, to accommodate the new selling rules. What is now a bi-weekly release of some 120 wines will soon become a weekly release of some 1200 wines, followed by a DAILY release in 2012, probably offering 500 new wines each day. Importers will be expected to clear and sell out their wines within 14 days, to create space for newer incoming labels. Said a spokesperson, "This should appease those scores of thousands of wine lovers who have been begging for new wines."

 

-requesting that wine writers either pay a Friday Casual Day donation to the LCBO or wear a suit, with white shirt and tie. Ladies must wear cocktail dresses. Newer rules, to accommodate tasting 2500 new wines a week in 2012, will be promulgated later, and may involve overnight stays which will be billed to the wine writer.

 

-selling advertising on the brown liquor and wine bags.

 

-charging wine writers $10 for every day they taste and record wine notes on their laptops in the LCBO sensory labs. The LCBO has never charged for electricity before, but recent building brown-outs have been attributed to media charging their batteries with free electricity. Said a spokesperson, "This bit of gravy has been at taxpayer expense and it must stop."

 

-audio broadcasting of wine commercials in LCBO stores;

 

-initiating Drive-Through Liquor Stores in heavily urbanized areas.

 

The strategy will be implemented after the Civic Holiday weekend, and should generate several millions of Liberal dollars ahead of the October 6 election.

 

More on this story as it happens…


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Huge rise in employment of Kwee-Fah members

The Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association strongly endorses this partnership...New writing jobs are guaranteed!!!
 

NEWSFLASH  -- BREAKING NEWS as it happens !!!!!
 
TRAWNA -- (GOSH Wine News Services) -- The Foxy Wine News Network(TM), enjoyed on television by over 4,000 Canadians every night, has joined forces with Winefox.ca.
 
Originally, Winefox.ca had filed a "cease-and-desist" letter with Foxy Wine News Network(TM), believing that Winefox.ca had prior exclusive rights to the words "fox" and "wine". They refused to believe in the existence of the Foxy Wine News Network(TM).
 
But that was before due diligence showed that Foxy Wine News Network(TM)  is a viable subsidiary of GOSH Wine New Services. Both legal teams have spent some time in coming up with a solution. It turns out that Winefox.ca is interested in some of the assets of the Foxy Wine News Network(TM).
 
So: instead of suing Foxy Wine News Network(TM) for $1,000,000, Winefox.ca has bought into the Foxy Wine News Network(TM), taking a minority interest with a silent partner position for that same amount of money.
 
From July 1 on, the Foxy Wine News Network(TM) will report on all happenings at Winefox.ca, and Winefox.ca will share in the profits made from 4,000 sets of television eyeballs.
 
In the future, there will be other forms of partnerships such as buying wineries, importing wines, selling wine accessories, and other commercial applications.
 
Foxy Wine News Network(TM), a subsidiary of GOSH Wine News Services, will be reporting on all of these as they happen....